Expeditions in the dating world. 

Typical 21st century modern day, average people working their asses off to make a living for themselves. Devoid of feelings, We work hard, build up an empire only to stay there alone with our saddened lives pouring ourselves drinks to fill the voids. It makes me wonder where is all the love? Where is all the affection that has created multiple generations? That has created certain architectural monuments. The love which is the basis of some people’s entertainment as books and movies? Is love only in movies and books?

 I’ve grown up looking at people who fight, who scream, who cannot stand each other, but when it comes to it fight for each other. The people who can blanket you, take care of all your insecurities. Where is the love gone? In all of these situations, I have grown up craving love, typical love. In that search I wander from people to people to give me that “perfect” love, but was I looking in all the wrong place? Probably. probably not! Certain times I was sure of finding the perfect love, but does the love want me? I don’t think so.  

Today’s love can be defined in three adjectives- insecure, confused and unpredictable. If you are one of those who are in here to find love with their rose-tinted glasses, you, my friend, are in the wrong place. Or maybe that’s just me, everyone else around me seems to have figured out the world. Probably I am the slow one. Why is it so easy to sleep after jerking off rather than creating perfect relationships? Why is it difficult to actually make a connection with people with whom you  can actually sleep? Why is so difficult to talk about things that you hardly speak about? Isn’t sharing your innermost feelings with someone a positive thing? Why is it so difficult to be yourself in front of people? Why do we have to pretend? Why can’t we stick with the one we have found under rare circumstances? Why do we run away from them? Why and how can we go from “I love you’s” to “I think we need a break”? Is love dead? Probably.

 Are we really kidding ourselves, when we are look around for potential people to love, to spend our lives with, but when we actually find them, we can’t come to accept their flaws, to give them what they desire, to just love them beyond any explanations? Rarely it happens that we find people, fall in love with them and get married to them, as was the case with a cousin of mine. Lucky she is. Rest of us? We are stuck in the perpetual cycle of going back and forth from people to people. Why do we keep doing this? Why are we stuck in this vicious cycle of the dating world where people cannot come to terms with their own feelings? Are we broken because of past relationships? Perhaps, but how broken are we that we can’t give love another chance? Why do we dread coming close to people, why do we take a step back when we tend to develop feelings? Why isn’t it possible to make sure that it works this time with the people who are genuinely interested in you? Isn’t life too short to be this confused? Are we too cool to fall in love like our older generations?

 Who are we fooling when we say love is stupid? I don’t think it is. Love is not stupid, you are. Feelings do not mess up things, you do. Being emotional in this cruel world is actually a brave thing, to be very honest. The world where people have forgotten how to love and care and have taken a shelter under the faces of anger and violence, to have not lost your original self is by far the bravest thing. I have come to terms that love isn’t made for the “tinder” generation. People instead of investing their time and energy into one person want to invest only a “night” in the one. How many potential lovers have we lost after sleeping with them, I wonder! 

But in the end, all we can do is sit in the empire, alone, after all of our friends we enjoy our pseudo happy lives with are gone away into their empires, again Alone! Nobody to ask how was our day, nobody to give you a stupid medicine when you feel sick, nobody to watch those late night movies with and nobody to cuddle you to sleep with. This is how we want our lives to be? Working hard to earn a lavish lifestyle only to live and sleep alone in that. Most people say it is peaceful, solidarity they talk about. The most peaceful thing I can do it sleep in the arms of the one I love, everyday, for the rest of my life. Even though the world is a cruel place to live in, I know one day I will be back to ‘my home’. I have faith in all the powers of the universe ( Yes I am that stupid to still believe there are some powers) . Probably someday, he might come out of his confusion and stay. Actually stay, so I do not have to go on any other expedition.

Abyss

The abyss in which you are stuck, why don’t you come out of it? Stuck between the parallels of time and anxiety, where are you headed to?  Stuck in the vicious circle, saying those sheer lies to yourself that you are fine, what good comes out of that circle?

Your train is calling you, calling for its last passengers to get on board. To reach new places, to move on from where you are stuck right now, to move on from all those people who hurt you, lied to you, cheated on you. betrayed you. Forgive them, even if they didn’t apologize. It’s hard, but once you do it your existence will be like a feather. Light and happy. 

The Inequalities of Life

How beautiful were Rose’s dresses from the movie Titanic and how beautiful were Jack’s sketches. How magnificent was the “unsinkable” ship. Also how huge and elaborated was Mr. Gatsby’s mansion, those party sequences, the women dressed pretty in the era of the 20’s. What is common to the two of them is the presence of the great Leo DiCaprio! It is such a pleasure to see him every time on screen.

Already wanting to watch the movies again? Well, wait before you start watching the movies again. Don’t just look at Jack and Rose or maybe Daisy and Gatsby. Look at the movies with a different take this time!

Titanic : The movie started with Rose a wealthy “princess” looking forward to travel in the huge “unsinkable” ship with her fiance Cal, her somewhat rude mother and Cal’s left hand! While Jack a third class poor citizen, always wanting to make ends meet, was gambling with his friend to earn a ticket to travel back to USA. And like every other normal love story, girl and boy meet, laugh and fall in love, Jack and Rose pretty much fell in love like this.

But the movie was not just a plain love story where Jack dies (yes, we hate that part) but the movie is completely based on the notions of class based stratification, gender based stratification, stratifying people on the basis of their socio-economic background, checking if the third class passengers have lice or any other disease, while the first and second class passengers merrily walked into the vessel.

The love story of Rose and Jack is doomed because of their difference in social class. Rose, the newly poor aristocrat who needs to marry to refinance her way of life, gives us entry into the upper class area of the ship. No doubt luxurious and comfortable, the people are snobby. Rose is trapped and boxed in by the requirements of her social milieu and is only able to escape by touring the 3rd class areas with Jack. She flees her “proper” life to go drinking, dancing and enjoying and living her life to the fullest with Jack. While the ship was sinking the workers on the ship kept the lower class behind locked gates. They didn’t let them climb to the top to escape in boats. At one point, the rich people are being sent out in largely under populated boats (tons of room to put up their feet and store their jewels perhaps!) Thus your survival was dependant on the economic class of the society you belong to! Statistically speaking approximately only 37% of the total population travelling survived at that time!

And not just this, another theme of social inequality that ran through the movie was that of gender based stratification. Imagine a mother compelling her daughter to marry a rich guy to maintain their riches even though she doesn’t like the guy but she has to do it because she is a woman and women do not have a choice!

Think about the scene where Cal gets to know that Rose was with Jack the whole night drinking and dancing and  moment he smashed the table at breakfast and wanted Rose to “obey” him “faithfully”  because she was her wife in practice if not in law!

 The protocol of women and children first was the worst of all! Children need help and support and nurturing because they cannot survive on their own without an “elder.” What this protocol meant that women also couldn’t help themselves, support themselves, survive on their own, and they needed a reservation on those lifeboats first so as to survive!

 

The Great Gatsby is a social commentary on the lives of people in the 20’s and not just a love story of Jay and Daisy. Jay a socially invisible man throws parties so as to impress the upper class Daisy, so that she comes to his parties and they can re unite! Through this story the mentalities of people belonging to different social classes can be seen. These mentalities affect the story, the events that occur and mould many of the characters. Jay Gatsby is “new money” living in West Egg while Daisy and Tom, her husband are “old money” living in the East Egg area! Thus the characters were distinguished by the area they lived in, their wealth, and their work. The way wealth affects the social status is illustrated by Jay Gatsby. He does not come from a wealthy background but is self-taught in business and becomes wealthy, and is therefore able to mingle with people of higher class. Although he cannot fit into East Egg his object of affection Daisy will not even attend his parties, he is still accepted in a level of society who never would have accepted him in his poorer days. Gatsby thinks he can impress Daisy with his house and collection of clothes and Daisy does become impressed with this which shows that even though she would deem herself as upper class, she loves wealth, be it old or new.

People are highly materialistic in the capitalist society. Tom and Daisy don’t even care when Jay Gatsby dies and they get retreated back into their shallow lives of richness, no matter how many times they cheated on each other! The value of love, emotions and lives doesn’t matter to them, all they care about is wealth and luxuries.

Well, the next time you watch these movies, look at them from a completely new perspective and thank me later!